


Saying Good Night is Different Than Goodbye

by HaleKent



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-08-08 21:50:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7775002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaleKent/pseuds/HaleKent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Canon divergence. After Dean rescues Rory from the "date" her grandmother had set up, things change dramatically. Rory sends Dean away before seeing Jess in the hall. And Jess doesn't ask Rory to run away with him.<br/>No Dean x Rory. Only Rory and Jess. Sorta.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saying Good Night is Different Than Goodbye

Why did everyone keep asking about her boyfriend? Or the lack thereof. A young woman couldn’t be single for a while? “Geesh,” she mumbled to herself as she packed her last box. It was only made worse when her grandmother stepped into her room and brandished a guy Rory had never seen, much less seem like the kind of guy she would date. Sure he made a joke, but his personality lacked tremendously once he was around his friends. Calling Dean seemed like a great idea. He’s such a great guy, she thought as they walked toward her dorm room. Any girl would be lucky to have him. I messed up letting him go.. But he has a girl.. Wife. He has a wife! Oh God, what am I doing? We basically had a date. We had food, and we hung out like old times, and he keeps looking at me. Oh no, I have to tell him to leave, no matter how much I miss him. This is bad. “Dean, how are you able to do this? Where does Lindsay think you are?” she asked.  
He looked hurt, for a moment, and confused. “Out,” he replied with a shrug of his shoulders.  
Rory took a deep breath. “Dean, you need to leave. I really appreciate you bailing me out and coming to help, but you need to get home to Lindsay. To your wife.”  
“She’s out with friends tonight, and I wasn’t doing anything. I was happy to help,” he told her.  
“Mom told me you two have been fighting. I know it’s not my business, and I don’t like knowing you’re unhappy. But I can’t help you fix this, Dean. You need to be with Lindsay, spending time with her, not me. I don’t deserve you anymore,” Rory said as tears started to form.  
“You’re right. It’s not your business. Or Lorelai’s. And I don’t appreciate her telling you about my fights with Lindsay.”  
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m sorry she told me, and I’m sorry you and your wife are fighting.”  
“Will you stop that?” he asked angrily.  
“Stop what?”  
“Calling her that.”  
“You want me to stop calling Lindsay your wife? That’s what she is, Dean. You asked her, she said yes. You both said I do, and now you’re married. You vowed to be with her through the good times and bad. So that’s what you need to do. Go be with your wife,” she said with finality.  
“Fine,” he growled as he turned and stormed away.  
A tear slid down Rory’s cheek as she watched him walk away, and she couldn’t help but think she lost one of her closest friends. She walked into her hall and was startled to see who was standing there. “Jess!” she exclaimed, clenching her chest. “You scared me. What are you doing here?”  
“I wanted to come talk to you. I didn’t know you were back with Dean,” he grumbled.  
“I’m not. Not that it matters,” she mumbled, wiping the tears away from her face.  
“Nevermind. I don’t even know why I bothered,” he said as he grabbed his bag and made for the door.  
"You can’t just do that!" she screamed as he began to walk away. "You can’t just leave without a word then come back and tell me you love me only to leave again, then come back and leave! I mean, who does that?"  
She was glad no one was left. She needed this, to get this off her chest, even if he did just leave again. At least he didn’t tell her to calm down. That would have only made it worse. "Can we.. Can we go somewhere to talk? Somewhere that’s not a hallway where anyone could overhear? " he asked as calmly as he could.  
Rory huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. She nodded and stormed over to unlock her door. Once it was closed, she turned to face him. "You wanted to talk. Talk."  
He stood across from her and stared at his hands. He could feel her staring holes in him but didn’t look up. "Remember when you lost Dean’s bracelet?"  
"Dean’s bracelet? What does that.. Yes, but-"  
"And you freaked out because you couldn’t find it and it ended up being under your bed?"  
"Yeah..."  
"I had it," he admitted quietly.  
"What? Why would you-"  
"I didn’t steal it. It fell off when we were having the picnic. I thought you left it on purpose. I didn’t know he made it for you, and I thought you left it for me. When I realized it was important, I put it under your bed. Your mom saw me leaving and thought I had stolen it," he admitted.  
"Why didn’t you tell her that you didn’t?" she asked.  
"There wasn’t a point," Jess said as he slid his seat back so he could stand. "I was never going to be good enough for you, and she was right. I’m not, and I never will be, and that’s why I left. I couldn’t finish high school, and I wasn’t going to go to college. I’m just a loser like my dad. I disappointed you and Luke and Lorelai and-"  
"Jess Mariano, you stop that right now!" Rory exclaimed as she walked toward him and poked him in the chest. “You are a great guy, but you were too irresponsible! I tried helping you, but you just kept acting like nothing mattered.”  
“I’ve changed, Rory! I swear I have. I have a job, and my place is a shit-hole, but it’s mine. I got my GED, and I’ve started writing this book, which will probably be crap, but I’m trying to be better, Rory. It was me that called you when I was in California, and every time I called you, I knew what I would say, but once you picked up, it all went to hell. I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry for leaving, and I’m sorry about prom, and I’m sorry for being the world’s biggest jerk. You were the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’m 100% convinced you will be the greatest thing that will happen. I love you, Rory. I have loved you since I saw you two years ago, and I have missed you every day since I’ve been gone!” Jess panted as he finished speaking.  
Rory briefly wondered if he had practiced saying any of that. “I missed you, too. And I did love you. Maybe I still do, I don’t know. So much has happened since you left, and maybe I’ve changed, too. But Jess, you can’t keep doing this. You can’t just show up here or in Stars Hallow and drop this bomb on me only to leave again. If you want to be in my life, you need to at least call me first. After that with Dean and now this, I’m going to have to emotionally prepare myself to see either one of you. Even though I don’t think I’m even friends with him anymore, but still…”  
She was quiet for a while, and he realized she wasn’t going to expound on that topic anymore, even though he had heard a lot from the hall. “I live in New York now,” he finally said.  
“Yeah?”  
“Yeah. Like I said, it’s a shit-hole, but it’s mine. At least partly. I have a couple roommates. They’re pretty awful ,” he admitted.  
“As awful as Paris?” she asked with a grin.  
“A different kind of awful.”  
“She was my roommate this year,” she said, pointing to the RG and PG still on their door.  
“Sounds horrible.”  
“Wasn’t too bad, actually.” She yawned profusely, and unintentionally, and rubbed the salty feeling from her eyes.  
“I should get going,” Jess told her.  
“Back to New York?”  
“Yeah,” he nodded and yawned. “It’s only an hour and a half drive.”  
“But it’s late, and you’re tired, and I’d never be able to forgive myself if something happened to you. Stay. There are three other beds to choose from. I’ll even give you the not-so-girly blankets,” she grinned at him.  
“Are you sure? You don’t have to just be nice. I’ll go if you want me to, ” he asked hesitantly. They had just started talking again, and he didn’t want to overstep his boundaries.  
She was silent as she contemplated. Did she really want him to stay or was she just being nice? She looked him over for a good time since they came inside. His hair was a little longer, and definitely due for a trim at least. She could see scruff along his jaw, noting that it made him look more rugged, and a little more alluring. His clothes were older, but that was nothing new. She wondered what he would’ve looked like in his James Bond tux he was going to have gotten for prom. Her mind went to the other things she had had planned for that night, but pushed them away quickly for fear of him seeing her blush profusely. She realized how much she had missed Jess: his love for books and music and movies that rivaled her own, along with his many nuances. She hoped she could at least be friends with him, because she missed his wit and the way he could keep up with her own. “Yes,” she eventually said. “I want you to stay.” I couldn’t bear it if you left again. Please don’t let me down.  
“Okay,” he said with a smirk. Damn that smirk, she thought as she showed him the other rooms before finally ending with her own. The only decorations left was her bedspread and sheets that she was going to stuff into her laundry bag in the morning. “It’s small. Where’d you keep all your books?” he asked, glancing at her empty shelves.  
“I kept a lot at home, unfortunately,” she replied, clasping her hands together and twisting her fingers together. She could remember the last time they were alone. How heated things had gotten in a nice way. Pleasurable some might even say. She licked her lips, and tried not to notice how he was now looking at her and in the direction of her lips. “So, um, that was Paris’s bed, and this is mine. So you pick the bed, and I’ll get your blankets,” she said, rushing out of the room to search for her extra set.  
When she returned, her arms overflowing with linens, she almost dropped them when she saw him reclined in her bed in just his boxers, with Paris’s bed extremely close to her own. “Wh-what are you doing?” she sputtered.  
“Choosing my bed.”  
“No.. Oh no, that’s my bed. I meant pick Paris’s or Tanna’s or Janet’s. Not mine,” she objected.  
“You didn’t specify,” he retorted.  
“I am now. That’s my bed. Pick another,” she huffed.  
“Alright, alright,” he said, holding his hands up in surrender. He gently took the sheets from her hands and began to make the twin sized bed.  
Rory watched, trying to understand his actions, but also intrigued with watching his muscles move under his bare skin. Gone was any pudge that had lingered throughout puberty. Firm muscles had replaced it nicely. “So, ahem,” she cleared her throat. “Any reason why the beds are so close together? I mean Paris and I got pretty close this past year, but not that close. Even though she did kiss me during Spring Break.”  
“You went to Spring Break?”  
“You’re more surprised that I went to Spring Break and less concerned with Paris kissing me?” she laughed.  
“It doesn’t surprise me. What does surprise me is that you’re not getting kissed more often,” he said casually as he draped the last blanket onto the bed.  
“By Paris?”  
“By anyone.” He took a step toward her and hoped he wasn’t pushing. She’ll tell me no if doesn’t want me to do anything, he thought as he gauged her reaction. He stepped closer and watched as her eyes traveled all over him, except his eyes. “You’re so smart, and beautiful and funny and absolutely crazy. I don’t understand how someone hasn’t swept you off your feet. I was so stupid to have left. Will you ever forgive me for that?” he asked.  
Her eyes finally reached his. “I do forgive you, Jess. But I don’t trust you. I can’t trust you yet.” She moved to turn away, but he grabbed her wrist lightly and brought their bodies together.  
“One step at a time. That’s all I’m asking,” he whispered. His thumbs rubbed small circles on her wrists before sliding into her hands, unsure movements like when they were first experiencing each other for the first time. There was barely any space between them as they closed the last breadth of distance from their lips. The kiss was gentle and sweet. Just like her, Jess thought as he moved his hands to her waist. Hers slid up his arms and onto his shoulders then into his hair. He groaned and held her tightly. He was willing to take anything she had to offer him, even if it was a few innocent kisses.  
Spurred on by his groan, Rory relaxed into his embrace. Their kisses became less sweet and gentle, and more anxious and needy. She felt herself sinking into her mattress and reveled in the feeling of Jess’s body pressed flush against hers. When he came up for air, he continued to kiss her anywhere he could, her cheek, her neck, that spot under her ear that drove her crazy. She moaned softly and he almost lost it. “God, Rory,” he groaned as he shifted against her.  
He felt her tense and slowly pulled away. “Jess,” she muttered breathlessly. “Jess, we need to stop.” He swallowed roughly and rested his forehead against hers.  
“Yeah,” he nodded in agreement. “We do.” Very reluctantly, on both sides, he pulled away and sat on Paris’s bed. “Well, we know that part still works,” he joked.  
“Very well,” Rory replied. Her face was flushed and her pupils looked huge, and not just because the room only had a slip of moonlight pouring in. “I’ll be right back,” she said as she grabbed her pajamas and stepped toward the door. “And you, mister, need to stay on that bed.”  
“Yes, ma’am,” he said as he watched her walk away. Once out of sight, he looked at the straining fabric of his boxers and groaned. “Yeah, I know,” he grumbled to himself as he willed it to go down.  
Rory practically ran to the bathroom. She left her phone in her bag, which was good because she really just wanted to call Lorelai and get another perspective, one that wasn’t hazy with feelings and memories and hormones. She took a deep breath and splashed some cold water in her face. “What are you doing, letting Jess stay here? That’s the second worst idea you’ve had tonight. Are you crazy? Maybe. Oh good, so that explains why you’re in here talking to yourself instead of out there kissing him! Wait, no! Not kissing. Kissing is bad and will lead to other bad things. Talking. A safe distance away. Where no touching can be done. Yep, that sounds good.” Crazy would make more sense than this! She thought as she slid out of her “bar hopping” clothes and into her pajamas. Seriously gonna have to get something remotely sexy one day. Walking back to her room, she wondered how the night has turned around so much.  
She tried to imagine anything but the boy—young man—lying in her room. It wasn’t working very well. Rory leaned against her desk and eyed him, watching him watch her. His smirk looked a lot more mischievous than playful at the moment. “I’m sorry,” she admitted after silently staring for a moment.  
*For what?” he asked, his smirk of confidence turned into a frown of confusion.  
“For leading you on. I didn’t know if I had implied anything by asking you to stay her tonight, because kissing you wasn’t the plan, I swear. I’ve just bad this dry spell, and I had forgotten how good it felt to be kissed and held, and I just got swept away with it. I’m sorry,” she reiterated.  
“Leading me on sounds like it was planned. I know it wasn’t, so you don’t have apologize for it. And what do you mean dry spell?” He was smirking again.  
“Aside from Paris, I haven’t kissed anyone in a while. I mean, I wouldn’t even count that because it wasn’t exactly consensual, but aside from a few dates at the beginning of the year, there hasn’t been anyone since.. “ she bit her bottom lip and looked away. “Since you left. The first time,” she admitted.  
“There hasn’t been anyone else for me, either. California girls were so vapid, and the ones in New York are almost as bad. None of them could hold a candle to you,” he explained quietly.  
The room was silent as the two took in each others words. Rory walked to her bed and crawled under the sheets, turning into her side to face him, and Jess did the same on his bed. They were close, but far enough away for Rory to keep her hands to herself. “So, do you have regular access to a phone? Or to internet?” she asked, breaking the silence.  
“Yeah. I finally got a cell phone, and there’s a coffee shop down the street. Why?” he asked unperturbed by her questions.  
“The way I figure it is if we’re even going to be friends, we need to at least have regular contact with each other. Phone calls and emails can help us with that,” Rory said decidedly.  
“Yeah. Friends, huh?” he asked.  
“I’m not saying we’ll get back together, Jess. But I need to be able to trust you before any sort of relationship happens with us. So agreeing to email me once a week and call me at least twice is a start. I’ve heard that good communication is the foundation for any good relationship.”  
Jess thought back to his earlier conversation with Luke and wondered if Luke had told her anything. “Yeah,” he responded with a nod. “So I’ve heard.”  
“Do we have a deal?” she asked.  
“I think I can manage that. Isn’t it customary to kiss to seal a deal?”  
“As nice as that sounds, it’s probably best we stick to our respective beds,” Rory giggled. Jess huffed and agreed. “Good night, Jess.”  
“Good night, Rory.”  
…  
Rory’s alarm blared much earlier than she wanted it to. Blearily, she rubbed her eyes as she stretched before reaching for her alarm. The constant noise was annoying but she couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. She had already packed her alarm clock, hadn’t she? She looked around her barren room, trying to find the source of the racket. She glared at the pants that were sitting on Paris’s desk which were decidedly not hers, and realized the sound was coming from them. The pants. Which were Jess’s. “Jess,” she said, pushing his arm. “Your phone is going off. Jess! Wake up!”  
“Huh?” he mumbled, looking around at the unfamiliar room until he realized where he was. Upon understanding what was happening, he slowly rose from the bed to grab the offending object. “’lo?” he grumbled into the receiver. “No, I’m not delivering today. I already talked to Mark. Yeah. Just take it. I’ll see you later.” He clicked his phone shut and turned to Rory. “Sorry, that was my roommate. He wanted to know if he could take one of my deliveries. That’s what I do in New York. I do deliveries.”  
“Yeah, I figured that,” Rory laughed as she sat up to look at him. “Good morning.”  
“Morning,” he said with a wide grin.  
“What time is it?” she asked as she got up, pulling the sheets off her bed.  
“Nine-thirty,” he said, checking his phone.  
“Oh, crap! Last checks are at eleven! There’s so many boxes left, and there’s no way I can fit a this in my car!” Rory fretted as she started stuffing the linens into her laundry bag.  
“Rory, it’ll be okay,” Jess tried telling her.  
“No, it won’t! I won’t be able to get my deposit back, and they’ll keep my stuff, and I need my stuff!”  
“Rory! It’ll be okay. I’ll help you. We can load both our cars up, and I’ll follow you to your mom’s. We can do this,” he interjected.  
“Really? Oh, Jess! Thank you!” she exclaimed, running over to him and hugged him tightly.  
“It’s no problem. You know I’d do anything for you,” he whispered, holding her against him.  
She was suddenly acutely aware of his bare skin under her hands. She swallowed roughly and pulled away. “Thanks, Jess. Really.” She looked down and saw her rumpled pajamas and was mildly (very) worried about what her hair looked like. “I’m gonna go change and we’ll get started.”  
…  
An hour later, the suite was empty and clean, and they were pulling in to Lorelai’s driveway. “We can get the stuff out of your car first, so you won’t have to stick around and get it out of mine, to, “ she said as they got out of their cars.  
“I’ll do whatever you need, Rory. I’m free for the day.”  
After meticulously placing every box in order of how soon Rory needed to unpack it, they sat on the porch, sipping a Coke, watching the late sun filter through the trees. “I really appreciate your help today, Jess. I really don’t know what I would’ve done.”  
“Oh I do,” he laughed.  
“What?”  
“You would’ve called your mom, freaking out, and she would’ve freaked out, and then she would’ve called my uncle, and they both would’ve rushed over to help out. Then your mom would’ve suggested something crazy, and you both would’ve gone with it because you both love her, and you’d do anything for her,” he explained.  
“I do love my mother,” she nodded. “Wait. Luke is in love with Mom?”  
“Uh, yeah. How could you not have noticed?” They both looked completely perplexed, for different reasons.  
“I don’t know. I mean, he’s always helped us out, since I can remember. He’s in love with her. Huh. Well, good. I hope they realize it soon. Luke’s a great guy. Mom would be lucky to have him.”  
“I think something will come to fruition soon enough,” he said as he stood.  
“Why do you-“  
“No reason,” he shrugged. “I, uh, I have to get going.”  
“Of course. But you’re saying ‘bye’ this time, so that’s a plus.” She grimaced as soon as the words left her mouth. “Sorry. I won’t do that anymore.”  
“I deserved it. So, you have my number, right?”  
“And your email. Thanks again, Jess. Really.”  
“Any time. So, I’ll talk to you later?” he asked, unsure about what to do. She nodded and stood. Without warning, she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. She pulled away before he could reciprocate, but not before he was able to place one hand on her waist. “I’m gonna miss you, Rory,” he told her, trying to catch her eye.  
“I’ll miss you, too,” she responded quietly.  
“Can I kiss you one more time?” he asked, slowing cupping her cheek with his free hand. She nodded lightly. His lips touched hers carefully, not wanting to push her any further than he had the past twenty-four hours. “I didn't want to kiss you goodbye — that was the trouble — I wanted to kiss you good night — and there's a lot of difference,” he murmured as they stood there with their foreheads touching, reveling in the moment before it was gone.  
“You’re going to quote Hemingway now?” she chuckled.  
“Until next time, Rory,” he said, peeling away from her.  
“See ya, Dodger.”


End file.
